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I go to Ikea so you don’t have to

§ Brighton

Well I don’t but Flatpack Brighton does (if you’re local that is). I think there is universal agreement that going to Ikea is both a tortuous and torturous experience, and testiment to that is the very existence of a successful business created to circumvent that pain.

And where does that pain stem from? An hour’s painful journey along the M25 to Lakeside or up the A23 to Croydon. A store packed with family outings (shall we go to the zoo, kids? No let’s go to Ikea). Riots. Traipsing around the labyrinthine displays. Hours lost hunting for furniture not in stock. Further hours spent queuing. Being charged to use a credit card. The ridiculous delivery fees (when you find you’ve bought too much for the boot). The hour’s journey back home. That’s before you have to build the things. And above all, you just get the impression that Ikea doesn’t care.

I haven’t been for years, and have little intention of going again, but the pain is still fresh.