Sniff snort sneeze

Don’t come too close, I’ve got a shocking cold. The sort of cold some people would call ’flu. These people have clearly never had ’flu. ’Flu is a proper illness, not to be sniffed at . You’re out of action for a week. I mean totally out of action; you can’t move, you can’t eat, you can’t think; you sweat and you shiver and you sweat. What you have is a cold, people – buck up, take some paracetemol and stop bunking off.

That said, I am working from home today. Well I don’t want to spread my germs to the rest of the office, do I?